Dealing with Angry People

Over my years of working with people, I’ve encountered those who are given to anger and the following are some of my observations and things to be careful of when dealing with angry people.

They will influence you to become angry, discontent, and critical as well

Even if you had no previous anger toward something or someone, if you allow an angry person too much influence in your life, you’ll find yourself taking on their anger as well, and you may not even know why. One thing that must be maintained is your own integrity and emotional boundaries. If you determine not to allow yourself to be swayed, then you have a better chance of staying immune from taking on the same anger of an angry person. Resolve not to allow them so much influence and control over your thoughts and actions.

They will give you no rest until you join them

They say “misery loves company” and this is especially the case with angry people. It seems they already know they are wrong for being so easily angered and, rather than admit it or deal with it directly, they just want to be validated by having you join their side. Even if you do join them, they will STILL give you no rest because they have no rest in their own hearts. You can take decisive action to NOT allow them to influence you negatively.

They will drain you of your peace

If you tend to be a peacemaker, it is certain that an angry person will drain you of your peace because peace is not what they are looking for. For some, it could be about using their anger to control others. Some could use their anger to gain compliance from others. Some just may not know why they are angry to begin with or what they want.

Whatever the case, it’s best to take steps to protect your peace and not try so hard to bring peace to the angry person because it likely won’t work anyway. Let them keep their anger to themselves! You can only help those who want to be helped and some people just do not think they need help.

They will harm your good name and reputation

An angry person, especially someone who is known to be such, already has caused harm to their own name and reputation. They could cause you to do the same by influencing you to say and do things you otherwise would not have said or done.

Ignore their negative speak about others and do not give too much credit to their negative judgments of people and actions because they have shown that their judgments cannot be trusted anyway because they are tainted by negative bias

Again, the name of the game here is to limit their influence in your life. You may do this by limiting the time you spend with them, or at the least, determining within yourself not to allow them to influence you in the same angry way.  Double down on being the person you want to be and make it a point to ignore or push away their negative influence. It really does take that kind of effort!

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Thanks,

-Jason